Friday 27 April 2012

46 Things

46 Things we found out on our trip to Normandy


1. There are no icebergs in the English Channel

2. Rosie B makes an excellent face pack out of mud

3. Jessica K can be passed off as a French girl.

4. If you sit near Lois, be prepared to have a ringing in the ears for the next two hours (Just ask Mr Britten.

5. Remy enjoys nothing more than watching a DVD in the bathroom!

6. It is cheaper to send a postcard from France to England than it is to send a postcard from Portsmouth to Nottingham!

7. Alex H thinks sucking sweets on a ferry stops your ears popping!

8. It is impossible to take a bad photo of Faith.

9. Ben W can learn a foreign language in two days.

10. James S refuses to pay to use a toilet – quote “I’m not paying to do my business!”

11. Dans tu fas! = In your face!

12. Rohan can make a bed sheet out of email messages.

13. You can never be too wet or too muddy.

14. “Joan of Arc had big boobies!” Ben W

15. “She should be called Booby see her!” James P

16. Victoria will eat absolutely anything.

17. Isabella can make a skirt out of newspaper.

18. Isobel is never happier than when shopping.

19. Francesca will put nail varnish on everything but her nails.

20. Miss V is unsteady in the mud.

21. Mr B can survive a week without a towel!

22. Mrs Birdi will be tackling Mount Everest next year – as long as it’s sunny!

23. Cameron is the inventor of the cottage pie sandwich (patent pending)

24. Jessie P has developed a taste for cider.

25. Katie M will swim anywhere.

26. Anna W is hoping to represent GB, in canoeing, at the 2020 Olympics.

27. You can never have enough sockets.

28. Children can communicate with the aid of an electronic gadget.

29. Tatziana hates being cold.

30. Amelia will store her clothes anywhere except her drawers.

31. During the week, Anushka ate more snails than croissants.

32. Money burns a hole in Sarah Sunman’s pocket.

33. Annabelle’s leg has the same properties as a mood ring.

34. Lewis has a dream that all bread will be snowman shaped.

35. George knows the difference between a French and Belgian moustache.

36. Harvey is a clothes horse.

37. Don’t stand in front of Remy when he has a bow and arrow in his hand.

38. Diesel is cheaper than petrol in France.

39. Wine is cheaper than beer, cider and PowerAde.

40. Pip is determined to prove that “Man can live by bread alone!”

41. Maddy has a future in the army due to her ability on the assault course.

42. The French birds love William D

43. Georgia is a name that no Frenchman can spell.

44. Alana would rather crawl in mud than eat another snail.

45. There is not enough space to describe the adventures of James P. Here a few key phrases – airfix buying, coat losing, photo taking, card trick performing, snail eating, snail spitting, canoe capsizing, nightmare tidying…

46. David Walliams got to France quicker than we did and he swam!

Day 6

Day 6


Last day of activities 

The day started with the usual breakfast. Each meal at the chateau is accompanied by a question and answer session. It is essential to be able to name, in French, all the items on the table. The children also need to be able to say the phrase “Please may I have some more bread/water/milk please.” The children have to then bravely walk to the kitchen staff and return with their request to the table. By now, all the children are able to do this. In fact, most tables are eating and drinking more than usual so that they have the excuse to go to the kitchen and ask for more.

This morning, two groups went climbing and the other group (Mr Britten’s) went canoeing. Canoeing takes part in the Chateau’s lake. The lake is surrounded by trees and has a small island in the middle. On the island there are two crocodiles called Snoopy and Pikachu. They are perfectly safe as long as the children don’t go onto their island. Apparently, they are very old, deaf and blind and can no longer swim. However, they will not refuse a good meal if it wanders into their lair!

*If you believe any of the previous paragraph then you are as gullible as 99% of the children at the Chateau!

During the canoe session, the children had to make a raft, collect balls, race and paddle the canoes in the style of a Venetian gondolier. The last activity described was the most difficult. Most children fell into the water. Rohan enjoyed the experience so much, he did it twice! At the end of the session, the children were given the opportunity to jump into the lake. Most jumped at the chance (ahem!). James S then convinced Mr Britten that is was “like a Jacuzzi”. Mr Britten subsequently jumped in and agreed with James S. It was just like a Jacuzzi, apart from the cold, the sludge on the bottom and the pond weed on top! Note to self – Don’t ever believe a word that comes out of James S’s mouth.

Lunch – Potato salad, lasagne, cheese, bread and fruit.

In the afternoon, the children in Miss V’s group went canoeing while the other groups made bread. Bread making was a lot of fun. The children measured, mixed, kneaded and shaped their ingredients into a variety of different shapes. Spiders, snails, sumo wrestlers and jellyfish (amongst others) went into the oven and the children will be able to eat their own creations later this evening.

Tonight is the Talent Show!

Thursday 26 April 2012

Day 5

Day 5


Mr Britten’s least favourite day (Shopping Day)

After the fun of French night and snail eating, most of the children were late getting up this morning. They did, however, all manage to crawl into breakfast at 8.15am and consume the usual mix of breakfast items.

Today has been spent away from the Chateau. The morning was spent at Dinan Market followed by a trip to France’s number 2 tourist attraction – Mont Saint Michel.

The children were required to spend time at the market finding out the price of various items and recording the names of certain shops. There was also a quiz sheet to fill in. After that, the spending frenzy began. A wide variety of high quality souvenirs were purchased for various family members and I’m sure they will all take pride of place either at home, in your ears, your handbags or around your wrists. All was going well until Faith discovered a sweet stall and all altruistic feelings went out of the window. The stall owner knew Christmas had come early and grasped the opportunity with both hands. Mrs Birdi was even given a complementary bag of sweets. Isobel H declared she was finally at home and looked quite the gall about town complete with crepe and Coca-Cola.

After what seemed like an eternity (45 minutes), the children retired from the market for lunch. Ham, tuna, cheese or egg baguette with crisps, biscuits and a drink.

The afternoon was spent at Mont Saint Michel. It is a significant historical site and is an impressive site. Unfortunately, it is also jammed packed with shops. It did, however, give the children the opportunity to buy a postcard and a stamp from the post office. The post office in France in very similar to the post office in England – slow. One harassed member of staff with a line of 31 children all desperate to ask for une timbre and hand over 77c.

On the way back to the Chateau, we called in at a supermarket. It gave the children the chance to spend some more Euros on some of the food they have been missing. With bags packed of various fruits, vegetables and whole grain cereal, we returned to the Chateau for dinner, exhausted and with lighter wallets/purses.

This evening we are promised an evening of sport including basketball, volleyball and aeroball.

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Day 4

Wednesday


A great start to the day for a certain Ben W. At 7.00am this morning all was quite in the boy’s room. Young Ben was woken by a YouTube clip of Chelsea’s Torres scoring a goal which sent his beloved Chelsea to the final of the Champions League.

Breakfast was the same as usual with an added twist. Next door to the dining room is a conservatory. In the conservatory lives Jam – an African parrot. He likes his breakfast in a special way. Collette, the Chateau secretary, chews his food up for him and then he eats it out of her mouth. Surprisingly, she doesn’t think this is bizarre. Personally, I think you can love your pets a little too much.

Today has been spent at the Chateau. Two groups (Miss V and Mr B) have had a French lesson and an archery lesson. It was quite windy this morning and hitting the target proved a big challenge for some. Isobel is now called Isobelo which incorporates her name and score. We also have a Jameso, a Rohano, a Maddyo and a Georgiao. We don’t have a Remyo. He would have scared the life out of King Harold with his accuracy. He was only beaten by the sharp shooting of a certain teacher. Modesty prevents etc. etc.

A group of year 5 girls completed the assault course. It is often said that bravery comes from overcoming fear. A very impressive, brave group of girls. Special mention must be given to Victoria who was frightened of everything yet still completed the assault course with a satisfied smile.

Lunch was cottage pie which was the most popular meal so far. This was not a single cottage left and many children had thirds. A new delicacy was also invented by Cameron. The cottage pie sandwich. It set off a trend and was enjoyed by many. Cheese and fruit followed although not many had much room left for it.

We have also had a lesson in cider making. This was followed by a tasting session. Very few children enjoyed the cider apart from the odd one or two who were last seen sleeping off the effects (only joking!)

Tonight is the French evening along with the snail eating, photos to follow…

If you haven’t seen the photos yet, they are at http://www.the-chateau.com/  Don't forget the hyphen!

You can also email a message of love there too!

Tuesday 24 April 2012

Day 3

Tuesday 24th April


Day 3

Breakfast was the usual cereal, milk, pain au chocolate, yoghurt, bread and hot chocolate. All served in the same bowl! Not a joke.

The children have spent the day away from the Chateau at Bayeux and Arramanche. A coach set off at 9.30am and we were off. I am beginning to a new game to pass the time on the coach. It is a version of I-Spy. A game we often played in the pre-electronic era of the 1970s. How old? You score points by spotting the following things on any journey with the children.

1. A D.S (1 point)

2. An IPod (1 point)

3. A Red Cap (1 point for every 10 spotted)

4. An irate French driver (1 point for every 5 spotted)

5. An English car (3 points)

6. A book being read by a child (10 points)

7. Children having a conversation without the means of “Pictochat” (5 points)

8. Cows (1 point)

9. Horses (1 point, 3 points if accompanied by a cry of “Ooh look! Horses!)

10. The sea (3 points)

On the way to the D-day Landing Museum, I scored an impressive 18 points). I have yet to spy number 6 and don’t suppose I ever will.

On arrival at the D-Day museum we were shown a short film explaining the landing and subsequent days following D-Day. The children were then given a guided tour of the museum and were told how and why the harbour was built. This was followed by a visit to the gift shop where the children could finally spend some of their hard earned Euros. James P’s mum had sent an email to the Chateau begging him not to buy an airfix model. Unfortunately, we did not receive the email until we returned and James is now the proud owner of two shiny new airfix models. He will probably need some help and plenty of glue when we return.

After shopping we travelled a couple of miles up the coast to the Cinema 360. Before going in we had lunch. Each child attempted to eat either a ham, cheese, tuna or egg baguette whilst cowering together to give protection against the hurricane winds. At least it wasn’t raining. Pouring water into plastic cups was a four man job. One pourer, one cup holder and two to act as a wind break.

After Gone With The Wind, we went to see another film. The cinema is a 360 degrees cinema and shows the D-Day landing and liberation of France in a short, powerful film. On exiting, Mrs Birdi was stopped by an old British couple on holiday. They complemented the children on their excellent behaviour and compassionate nature during the film.

The rest of the afternoon was spent at Bayeux. The children were given a walkie-talkie which provided commentary as they walked around the tapestry. It is an important piece of history and the children learned plenty. Another historical site, another gift shop. The few remaining Euros from their initial twenty were spent and we were soon on our way back to the Chateau.

Something remarkable happened on the return journey. Something never before seen on a school trip. A child was caught reading a book! George W was seen by Mr Britten, in broad daylight. 10 points! Along with the 6 points from French drivers, it was an impressive haul.

Evening meal was potato salad, fish and rice and chocolate éclair.

The children are about to start a game of rounders which is being explained in French. It took about 10 minutes to explain until Lewis and William suddenly exclaimed “It’s rounders!” Explanation over – Game on!

Miss V will be putting some photos on http://www.the-chateau.com/ later. Don’t miss out the hyphen!

Monday 23 April 2012

Normandy Day 2

Day 2


The girls slept soundly in their beds till about 7.30am. It was a different story in the boy’s room. They were woken at 6.30am by a loud alarm sound. Every child denied setting an alarm clock so it was decided that it must be the fire alarm. Shoes and coats were put on to brave the rain and the boys walked briskly to the assembly point. Mr Britten followed quickly behind only to discover a very quiet Chateau with no one to be found. Epic Fail! This did, however, give the boys time and opportunity to unpack and prepare for the day.

During the stay at the Chateau, there is a daily room inspection. This is carried out by Chateau staff and the scores are posted on the notice board in all their glory. So far, the boys have an early lead! The early start obviously helped them get nine out of ten. The lowest score for a Salterford room was seven although it must be reported that another school scored only two!

The morning was spent on a tour of the chateau and some fun and games. Unfortunately, the weather hasn’t been great. The rain from last year’s trip to Cranedale has tracked us down and is just as determined to soak us through. It may dampen our clothes, but it will never dampen our spirits!

Lunch – Mixed veg salad, beef burger with couscous and green beans, selection of cheese with fruit.

In the afternoon, the children were split into three groups. Group A (Miss Venables) made bread inside, Group B (Mrs Birdi) went canoeing and Group C (Mr Britten) attacked the obstacle course.

The obstacle course was at its best. Loads of mud, loads of water and loads of dirty children. It was also quite cold. Fortunately, the children were made of stern stuff and didn’t let a little cold water get them down. Ben W decided that the obstacle course was a place where boys went in and men came out. If it got any colder, I think it would have probably been the opposite.

The canoe group got as wet as expected and spent more time in the lake than the canoe. Katie couldn’t wait to dive in a practice a bit of front crawl. Despite a few difficulties with escaping the wetsuits, the girls had a great time and had many tales to tell at dinner.

Dinner – Pate, Chicken and chips, chocolate mousse. Very popular – seconds and thirds were enjoyed by most.

The evening was spent in the rain. No surprise. The children were sent on a treasure hunt and were given a list of objects (in French) to find. One of the objects was the elusive professor. In French, this is written professeur gentil . Sadly, one could not be found.

The children are spending tomorrow at Bayeux and at the D-Day landings museum. Hopefully, it will be a little drier but apparently it wasn’t dry in 1944 so it will probably give them a better experience if it is raining. We shall continue to have fun and, hopefully, seek out the elusive professor!





Normandy Day 1

Day 1 – The Longest Day


We have arrived at the Chateau!

We set off from school at 8.30am and arrived, as expected, at 11.30pm local time. Some of the stronger mathematicians in the group worked out it had taken “about” 58 hours. I’m not wholly convinced by their calculations. It was surely longer than that.

The journey itself was trouble free. We arrived at Portsmouth with time for lunch and were then escorted on board first. Rosie and Faith were far from impressed by the size of our vessel. “Something this big surely can’t float!” said Faith; “I would rather go in a canoe” said Rosie. Their fears were eased, especially when they found out that there aren’t any icebergs in the English Channel.

The crossing was long but fairly calm and we all managed to get to France without seeing our lunch again. Even some of the girls, who attempted to eat their own body weight in Toblerone, didn’t feel the need to use sick bags which were, worryingly, available in every corner of the ship.

An evening meal was purchased by all. There was a large selection to choose from. Unsurprisingly, chicken nuggets and chips were seen on most plates. James P was determined to have the complete “French experience” and ordered fish and chips.

Almost to the second, we arrived at the Chateau at the expected time of 11.30pm. The children were guided to their rooms by a delightful member of staff who was, I think, called Boo Boo. My French is as good as most English men i.e. hopeless but we did manage to not only find our rooms but also were given a hot chocolate and a tea for the professor! Whoever he might be?

The boys settled down very quickly and are, as I type, silent! It’s been a very long day but, as always, the children have been a pleasure to be with and have been praised for their good behaviour by everyone who has met them.

What will tomorrow bring? Who knows! I’m sure Boo Boo will be around to help us and I will keep an eye open for the tea drinking professor. He may be able to teach us some magic tricks for the talent show later in the week.